Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in Mind Hacker's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, December 9th, 2003
12:43 am	curse agony/ecstasy The CurseAgonyEcstasy is something I listened to today, earlier. Or rather, my cleaned up version where I edited out all the "curse" portions. Then, being the impatient person I am, I decided to see if I could trigger it tonight. Yep, it did. My experience mirrors "declan's" experience on the discussion list. Odd waves of pleasure, impulsive humping of the air. Right on time at the 30 minute mark, it stopped. This was now supposed to be the pain portion. As with the other guy, I just had some mild irritation sensations on my back, legs and arms. The first symptom was actually a ben-gay like sensation on my dick. This lasted 12-15 minutes, whereupon I did actually climax. Not a full-on orgasm (no ejaculation). But it did sort of peak and rush all through my body for a few seconds and then it was done. I suddenly knew that I could get up from lying down (before I couldn't). And I felt this sort of release. I think it was the muscles letting go. Part of how it works physiologically, I think, is that you start involuntarily contracting muscles, in places I didn't know I had muscles. So it was sort of a workout. I can't imagine the 2 hour, self-triggered version. (I triggered through TTS). (Comment on this)
Monday, December 8th, 2003
12:22 am	drtrc I started trying out the DRTRC file from that Dr. that always posts to the hypnosis groups. I find the nearly hour long process of induction and deepening over and over to be too long. I tend to start to come out of it by myself after about 35-40 minutes. I don't know if that just means I need to do it more, or whether I just don't respond well to that particular file. Thursday I tried Evil Mind Warp guy's NaughtyBoy and BabyTime. I don't think I took to well to the NB, I didn't completely feel like I was accepting the suggestions whole heatedly. And during the "trip" I felt really annoyed after I jacked off in my piss soaked jeans. But then maybe that was sort of influenced by the guilt feelings I was supposed to be having. It was supposed to last for an hour and I pulled out after 20 minutes, because I really didn't like it. I told myself I won't do it again, and I don't think I will. Playing naughty, childish boy is not my thing. I didn't know the trip was about being a small kid who is embarrassed he wet his pants. The baby thing was weird. Again, I pulled out about 5 minutes early. But it was mostly, I think, because i was bored. It was definitely a weird feeling. I won't do it again. I also tried again to get the UrinateNow to work again. I still keep getting hard. I think this one could set and work, but not immediately after the session because I'm always to hard to piss. I'm going to try and remove the trigger at the end of the file and just listen to the trigger planting for awhile. Maybe then I can just trigger myself or run a test somehow when I'm not hard. I just get so turned on by the idea, that it seems like I always just end up getting hard just as I'm trying to release so it stops it. So I don't know if the trigger is working or not. I am also trying listening while at the gym on the elliptical cardio machines. True, I'm not in a body relaxation state, but I do seem to be able to get in sort of a trance if I close my eyes. The naturally rocking effect my stride produces has sort of an equilibrium disruption effect. It can't hurt. And the reason I think it is working is I find myself not noticing as much how tired or not tired I am from running. Related to that is the first ones I listened to were TrainWorkout (?) and TrainTotalJock. The workout one is fine, but the Jock one is weird. I found my mind flipping between liking the idea of accepting the suggestions, and not liking them.I guess I like the idea of being more buff, more interested in participating in impromptu (or otherwise) friendly sports activities. And being focused on sex is ok. :-) But the dumb part and the lotsa alcohol part were fine. The scary thing was that during the session I started to think about my friend W, who is the most jock-like friend I have, and whom I find to be pretty hot. But I'm quite attached to my b/f. Hmm. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003
3:30 pm	addictive This hypno sutff is addictive. It doesn't help that all the files from Warp My Mind contain suggestions to have a desire to keep listening to the file. Puppy I tried the trigger for Puppy this morning using Applescript and text to speech (TTS). I gave it a 5 minute delay before reverting. Like others, it was not real strong, but it worked. I barked little barks and couldn't seem to get myself to talk. I immediately stripped and put on my collar. There was no sense of hurry, but I wasn't fighting it either. Then, and this is funny, I'm crawling on all fours and grab this little stuffed animal that was on the floor in my mouth and start gnawing on it. I wanted a bone, but non was available. I also crawled over to the patio door and sat and looked out. Naked. No one came by. My mind was still there, somewhat. I knew that I needed to to here the revert command else I get stuck (I did have to go to work after all.) I crawled and played near the computer until I heard it. I immediately stood up, somewhat amazed at the confusing mix of feeling like a dog and just feeling like a person crawling around. I remembered the experience (obviously). The script dictates I won't. I guess the amnesia aspect is harder to implant. Train Dog This was a bit different. Just before going to work I went through the train dog script for the first time. This is a training script, meaning it isn't triggered, but is intended at lasting effects. Do I want to become a dog? Hmm, sorta. Not completely. I want to stop at some point to get me something of a feeling and natural affinity for dropping into the role, but I don't want to feel compelled to do so. Anyway, after I listened it was weird. I felt just a wee bit confused. I wanted to say something just as sort of a test. I "couldn't" talk for a half a minute or so. I finally made a little barking sound that relieved my desire. I later said something just to myself and it came out fine. Also, when I went up to shut down the computer. I didn't want to stand up. I actually crawled up on the chair on all fours. I forced myself to step down and stand up. How powerful is this? I suppose it will depend on how much I want it. Maybe I should try and combine this with TrigMorph. Puppy revisted While at work I listened to the sublim trig puppy file while working. Then I ran the TTS trigger with a mere 20 second delay. For a second I just sat there thinking that my concerns about doing it in my cubicle at work would prevent it. But no. I started to unbutton my jeans (part of the trigger is stripping). I did manage to delay that command from completing by dropping to the floor on all fours and making a low growl. I think. I can't remember now what, if anything, I did down there. I wouldn't have had much time to do anything. Revert command given and I quickly got up and buttoned up my jeans. Whew! Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: Real Love - Cher (Comment on this)
12:21 am	more on that chastity thing. The chastity file is supposed to make me lose feeling in my dick. It isn't doing that. But the part about not touching myself seems to be going pretty well. (Comment on this)
12:19 am	updates: chastitiy? I broke the freeze trigger. I accidentally triggered myself while looking for a file with the 10 minute freeze test. I'd only listened to the hypno file twice, so it wasn't really too ingrained. I did freeze, but I was in a position where I absolutely couldn't wait out the 10 minutes. I forced myself to move and play the revert trigger. Since then, the trigger doesn't work, though it does cause this strange wave over me. I have listened to the chastity trigger 3 times now. I think it has taken a soft hold. I triggered it with the timed trigger file, and gave it a time of 12 hours. Enough to sleep and get through to noonish tomorrow. At first I thought nothing had happened as I read my trigger. So I decided to test with a bit of porn. I still got hard. I still got really horny, but I wouldn't touch my dick. If i just wanted to adjust for bunching, no problem. But if I wanted to rub it masturbation like, I couldn't seem to do it. It's like the freeze was. I almost feel like I'm just playing games with myself. I could touch if I really wanted, but don't want to because I want it to work. But I don't know. I plan to play the suggestion file everyday, at least once per day. I want it to be utterly ingrained. I want to use this to keep a control on myself where I have no self-control. It's for my b/f. I'm also listening to the anal orgasm training file. Theoretically, when I have anal sex again next (not until Christmas, due to particular reasons) I want to be able to cum just from getting fucked. I've always wanted that. Maybe this will do just that. One person claims it worked for him. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 25th, 2003
5:06 pm	Unbelievable I've started in on those warpmymind.com hypno files. They work. At least some do, so far. It's crazy. I started with the basic Induction file that just takes you down and up. I think it was good I had done that meditations CD, 'cause it kinda got me ready for what it would be like. After the basic one I jumped into the trigger urination one. I think that might have been too much for my first one. Also, I got a hardon, even while under the trance! In fact, I keep having them come and go each time I go under. I guess I'm still sexually excited by this whole thing even in that state. So, the piss thing didn't work out just yet. Today I listened to the Freeze2 file twice, with a break in between. After the second, I immediately went back down into the trigger masturbation file. I only heard that once. Crazy, then I ran the freeze test. it worked. For 10 seconds I couldn't/wouldn't move. Completely conscious, but still. Then I ran the 10 minute test. Damn, was it long. By the time it was done I wanted to move. I actually started to let my foot muscle relax once and for some reason I immediately flexed it again. It's weird. I wanted to hold, yet didn't. I wanted to move, but wouldn't. I couldn't tell if I was just playing along for some reason, or not. I guess that's the way it is. I need to listen a few more times to get it entrenched. I think with that one, I'd rather do the freeze1, where you don't remember the time. Then, I triggered the masturbation with Text-to-speech. It actually worked to do it that way. I could stop for a few seconds, but then I would naturally reach down. If I pulled my hand away, my other hand jumped in. When I tried to force myself to swap the batteries in the IF unit, I couldn't. My hands trembled, and then I dropped it and groped some more. Then the release command came and I could stop. Still horny of course. But I could stop. Last I tried initiation with the computer speech, then release with the 'tist's voice. That actually worked. I wasn't sure if two different people would work. I think it's different with other files in that regard. Not sure. Current Mood: amazed (Comment on this)